The incident of a child injuring a staff member was not the worst day that Jenny Cole ever had as a principal but it was the final straw.
By the time it happened, she had been carrying 12 years of accumulated pressure: the workload, the constant decision fatigue, and the belief that her job as leader was to absorb whatever came through the door so her staff and students didn't have to.
“Compassion fatigue and vicarious trauma is real,” Cole told The Educator. “My school catered for students with disabilities, from 4-18 years all with complex and challenging needs, including some with extreme unpredictable behaviour.”
Often this resulted in staff injuries, Cole said.
“When a member of my staff was hurt at work – and this happened multiple times a week – I did everything I was supposed to do. I supported and reported - and the system ignored it,” she said.
“Shrugging their shoulders – saying it came with the territory. Slowly but surely I realised the system had no real answer for what was happening, and neither did I.”
Cole said that for years she had told herself that if she worked harder, advocated more, planned better and cared enough, she could keep everyone safe.
“So yes, it was cumulative. Most principals I speak with describe the same thing. There is rarely one catastrophe,” she said. “There is a long run of hard days, competing demands and expectations with a raft of unsolvable problems. Unsurprisingly, one day the pack of cards collapses.”
What Cole didn't have was a way to think clearly about what came next.
“I was making a huge career decision from exhaustion and grief, which is about the worst possible time to make such an important decision,” she said. “My exit was inglorious but I don't regret it.”
Cole, who now describes herself as a “recovering Principal”, has found her calling as an executive coach and consultant helping teachers and school leaders navigate stress, wellbeing, and career decisions.
She says that through her coaching, she realises how many leaders and teachers are exactly where she was, believing there are only two options: tough it out or walk away.
Why ‘be more resilient’ doesn’t cut it anymore
Cole said Principals are expected to “be all things to all people”.
“I don't think the scale of that is well understood outside schools,” she said. “A principal today is running what would be a substantial business in any other sector. They manage multi-million-dollar budgets, often with little formal financial training.”
Cole said the reality that Principals lead large staff teams means they need a lot more than a working knowledge of employment law, HR processes and duty of care.
“They oversee buildings, grounds, contracts and compliance. They oversee the recruitment, induction and deployment - ironically the smaller the school, the more of this breadth of responsibility falls on the Principal,” she said. “On top of all that, they are expected to be the instructional leader of the school.”
Cole said that in a corporate environment, each of those areas would sit with a highly skilled, specifically trained professional, such as a finance director, HR manager, facilities manager and access to legal counsel.
“The systems do carry some of that responsibility, but a great deal of it has been devolved to schools over the past two decades,” she said. “So principals and their leadership teams are doing two or three very large jobs at once, while still being expected to unblock the boys toilet, do playground duty, run a board meeting and know what a good spelling lesson looks like.”
That's the part of the conversation Cole says is missing.
“When we talk about principal/teacher burnout, we tend to blame the individual, like it’s a lack of personal resilience,” she said. “We talk much less about the role, and whether one person can reasonably do it.”
Cole said this is also why she’s wary of how the word “resilience” gets used.
“When a role has been designed beyond human capacity, offering the person in it a wellbeing program places the problem inside them,” she said.
“If policymakers want to make a meaningful difference, the starting point is a clear-eyed look at what we've handed to schools, what belongs there, and what specialist support principals need so they can focus on the parts of the job only they can do: leading learning and leading people.”
‘Trying harder is not a strategy’
In her book ‘Teach, Lead or Leave’, Cole lays out a framework that gives leaders “the clarity, confidence and direction to move forward with purpose.”
When asked what the most important takeaways from the book are for a Principal in 2026, Cole said a few ideas stand out.
“Trying harder is not a strategy,” she said. “When I realised I was out of my depth leading a large, complex school, I didn't ask for help.”
Cole said that on top of her job, she volunteered to become president of her principals' association, believing that overperforming would “cover the gaps”, and that asking for help “would show everyone I didn't know what I was doing.”
“I see the same pattern in so many principals I coach. Knowing when you've reached your limit, and saying so out loud, is a leadership skill,” she said. “And if the job feels undoable, that may be because it is. That's a system problem. You can stop treating it as a personal failing.”
Cole said “stay or leave is a false choice.”
“The 2025 Australian Principal Health and Wellbeing Survey found that more than half of principals have considered quitting,” she said. “When the only options seem to be grit your teeth or walk away, most people grit their teeth until something breaks.”
Cole said the book sets out six pathways: stay and make it work, stay and stretch, pivot sideways, pause, leave, and phase out.
“For plenty of teachers and leaders, the answer turns out to be reshaping the role, taking real leave, or moving to a different school or system role. Leaving is only one of the six options,” she said. “Make a decision before one gets made for you.”
Cole said her exit was a reaction.
“I'd been heading there for a long time and never realised,” she said. “The book’s Career Decision-Making Matrix asks two simple question: over the past six months, how much energy have you had, and how much impact do you believe you're having?”
Cole said where you land tells you a lot about which pathway makes most sense.
Below, she sets out six pathways that can help leaders take back control of their careers.
1. Stay and make it work for you: You still like your role, but it isn't working for you right now. This pathway is about shaping the job to fit your values, energy and strengths, rather than bending yourself to fit the job.
2. Pivot sideways: Same field, different flavour. That could mean a new school, a specialist role or a different system. You don't have to climb the ladder or quit completely.
3. Pause, rest and reset: Pushing through doesn't fix burnout. This pathway covers long service leave, study, part-time work, or simply doing less for a while, so rest becomes a normal part of a career.
4. Stay and stretch: For when you're bored, underutilised or coasting. Stepping up, whether into leadership or deeper engagement, can bring your spark back.
5. Leave: Scary, but possible. This is about planning a deliberate exit from education, so it doesn't happen on impulse.
6. Phase out: You're heading into the final chapter of your career and want to finish well. This pathway focuses on legacy, mentoring and letting go with grace.
From breaking point to a better place
Cole was asked what the most common ‘cry for help’ she hears from Principals, and how she knows that she is answering it in a way that is having meaningful cut-through.
“The most common thing I hear sounds something like this: ‘I love this work, but I am done – I don’t know how much longer I can keep going,’” she said. “Underneath it is usually a sense of being overwhelmed and stuck.”
Cole said teachers are exhausted from the sheer demands of their roles, and aspiring leaders debate whether or not to step up when they can see what the role is doing to their Principal.
“Experienced principals wonder if they have another five years in them and feel guilty for asking,” she said. “Almost everyone feels that they are failing in some way- and it’s hard to make decisions when you are exhausted. So, the first thing I offer is a way to share out loud what is going on.”
Cole said coaching provides a confidential space outside their system, with someone who has sat in their chair.
“And who truly gets it [but won’t be on their next Principal Review panel] That matters more than I expected,” she said. “Individually through coaching or my various programs we work through values, strengths, energy and the pathways available, so whatever a leader decides to do with their career, they decide from a place of knowing the whole picture.”
Cole said the measure of success she cares about most is whether a leader can tell her they are experiencing more satisfaction in their life and work.
“In May a client came to me in tears, saying, ‘I'm absolutely done. I don't think I can do this anymore,’” she recalled. “We worked through some strategies, and she did much personal reflection using questions from the book.”
Cole said one principal she coached was on the brink of quitting when they first met.
“Six weeks later she sat in my coaching chair and said, ‘I'm in a much better place because I have made real changes to how I live and work, including dropping to part time. I can’t tell you what a difference it has made to me and my family (and my school),’” she said.
“Choosing to stay in education but not at the expense of her mental health. That feels like success for me. One happy human at a time.”
Cole said that when someone who arrived to coaching ready to resign stays and says, ‘I've chosen this,’ that is success.
“When someone chooses to leave and leaves well, without guilt, and keeps contributing to education in another way, that's success too.”